dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Randomize
