So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
