She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
