he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
