i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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