my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
