She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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