I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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