i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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