cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
