I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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