I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
