I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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