So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Randomize
