I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
