That's when you crack a 10am beer
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
