last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
