i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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