I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
