But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
