feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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