I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
