i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
