the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
