I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
do nipples grow back?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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