I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
