Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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