Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
