I wanna bring you to show and tell
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
