its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm at about main and main street
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
