The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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