We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
