There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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