Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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