Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My life is pants optional.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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