But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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