Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
