I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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