You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize