is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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