LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
