WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
