the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
