So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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