Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
