She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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