I looked at my own cervix.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
