yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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