Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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