I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
