Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
