she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
