i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
