he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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