I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize