I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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