I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
