did you get engaged???
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
