Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
