Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
