I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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