and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So many bounce houses so little time
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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