I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize