U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
