That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
