I'm going to jail i love you
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
