barbara walters just said penis...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
