its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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