Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Houston, we have a blender
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
